Muffins
by xgal59
Summary: The first of many products of my twisted mind


Professor Charles Xaver looked out the window watching the kids throwing fireballs, iceballs, and anything else they could get their hands on at each other. Yup it was going to be a pretty normal day, but there was one little problem…  
  
"What do you mean there's no other openings!" Logan burst into the room yelling. Earlier that week the Professor had been talking to Logan about finding a class for him to teach, of course he went for gym or something to that effect, but then the Professor noticed that the only position that was open was Home Economics.  
  
"It will only be a temporary placement, I will talk with the other teachers, make some changes and see what happens. It shouldn't take longer then a week."  
  
"No way! No fucking way and I going to teach home ec!"  
  
"I'm sorry Logan but there is nothing else I can do at the moment, and the class starts in 10 minutes." Logan walked out of the room swearing under his breath. Charles gave a mental sigh of relief, that had gone a lot better then he had thought.  
  
***  
  
Logan walked though the hallway, cursing his bad luck. He would never get over the humiliation of Scotty-boy found out that he, the Wolverine, was teaching home ec. 'Okay all you have to do is put up for it for one day, then go and threaten ol' Chuck with his life to get me outta this class right away.' He walked up to the door and opened it, the students were sitting in their desks talking to each other about something or another, but as soon as he walked in the class was silent.  
  
Then he saw her, sitting in the corner with her friends, Rogue! Logan felt like he had just signed his own death warrant. Okay there is two chooses, run like heck before she sees me, or… run like heck before she sees me! Logan was about to take his own advice when Rogue saw him.  
  
"Hey Logan," she called, "what are you doin' here?" Now there was no chance to run.  
  
"I, um, am going to teach this, uh, class," he stuttered, there was some giggles from some of the students.  
  
"Well what are you watin' for sugah?"  
  
***  
  
The fire alarm sounded though out the entire school, and all the students rush to the home ec room despite what they have been taught and see Wolverine trying to rescue a hot muffin tray from the oven with his bare hands.  
  
"Stupid! Ow! Muffins! Ow!" He finally manages to pull the muffin tray out, but they are past help. Cyclops pushes his way though the crowd takes one look at Logan, who is conveniently wearing a cooking apron with pink flowers on it, and starts laughing at him.  
  
"Hey, Logan *snicker* maybe you can *giggle* figure out how to make something that's edible *starts laughing like a psychotic freak*." Scott manages to control his laughing and Logan flashes his claws, Cyke takes one look at him and starts laughing uncontrollably again. Logan, pops his claws back in, notices that everyone else had started laughing as well, and decides that one day he is going to kill them all but for now he storms off to have a "nice friendly" talk with Charlie.  
  
Prof. X is sitting in his office, laughing, he had watched what had happened though his powers. Wolverine smashes the door, he is still wearing the pink flower apron.  
  
"*Prof. X snickers under his breath* Hello Logan how did the class go? *Snickers some more*"  
  
"Ether get me out of that class or I'll play X's and O's on your head!" He flashed his claws, but the professor is to busy laughing to notice. Wolverine reminds gives up and decides to go work out in the gym.  
  
***  
  
In the gym, Logan has taken off his shirt and is working out when a Jean (who had been reading Logan's mind when he decided to work out and had contacted all the members of the Wolverine Fan Club, which mainly consisted of herself, Rogue, and Jessica the Human Hydrogen Molecule [No she's not really an X-Men I just put her in there because she's me and I happen to really like Wolverine]. Rogue and Jean start working out, Jessica just stands in the doorway staring at Logan and creating a rather large puddle of drool.  
  
"Can't I ever work out without you three bugging me?" Logan snapped.  
  
"No," Rogue and Jean answer simultaneously, Jessica is too busy staring and drooling to say anything.  
  
"You know what Logan, I really like having you for my home ec teacher," Rogue explained, Jessica nods her head mentally reminding herself to switch her class to home ec just so she could see Logan more often.  
  
"No, no, no, and oh yeah did I mention NO!"  
  
"Come on ppppllllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee!" all three Wolverine fans plead, Jessica stopped drooling long enough to put on a pitiful face that no one could refuse. "We'll help you!"  
  
Wolverine looks at all the pitiful looking faces around him and being unable to resist any longer, he caves in.  
  
"Okay, okay! Just stop with faces!" Jean and Rogue do a little victory dance and Jessica goes back to drooling.  
  
***  
  
A week passes and Prof. X has finally able to pull a few strings and has been able to find a more appropriate class for Logan to teach and he looks around to tell him. Eventually he finds him in the home ec room with Jean and Rogue helping him with something in the oven, Jessica is still drooling.  
  
"Logan I think you will be happy to learnt that I was able to find you another class for you to teach." Logan looked up from what he was doing.  
  
"What! No way! I'm just getting the hang of this cooking thing!" The professor looked shocked.  
  
"But… what about Scott? Having him bugging you about being the home ec teacher?" Wolverine grinned evilly.  
  
"I don't think I will need to worry about the One-eyed wonder after this." Jessica even stopped drooling long enough to let out and evil/psychotic laughter but promptly went back to drooling again. The professor looked confused, there was a chair propped up against the pantry door and there was banging and yelling coming form inside, he just shrugged and left.  
  
The End  



End file.
